The latest tweaks to my elevator pitch came as a result of reading these words from Michel Neray of Essential Message, reprinted in adherence to the reprint agreement:
"Is context clouding your message?
If you're like most people, you feel the need to give people the context of what you're saying before telling them the important stuff.
You probably do it in your memos, proposals, networking introductions, presentations and speeches, and sales letters.
While context can be crucial in some situations, it often creates distance between you and your audience.
These two techniques help you — and the people you speak to and write for — get to the point more quickly. Try them. They really work.
1. Next time you introduce yourself in public, like at a networking event, don't give your audience a chance to tune out: skip the part about your name and your company, and get straight to what you offer.
They couldn't care less about who you are until after they think you have something they need. Starting with non-essential stuff simply gives them time to tune out. If they show an interest, you can easily fill in the blanks later.
2. Next time you write a memo, recommendation or email, try this after you write your first draft. Replace the first paragraph with the second paragraph or delete it entirely. For a case study we developed for a client, this is exactly what we did — with dramatic results.
Instead of giving the company background and context, now the very first line of the case study is: 'Global success couldn't keep Carrefour Spain from falling prey to the retail industry's most common problem: inventory and cash shrinkage.'
Admit it, you want to read more too…"
Michel's newsletter is a quick and fun read — subscribe free at www.essentialmessage.com.
Writing Prompt: How will you use Michel's ideas to get to the point in a piece of writing you're working on right now?
Now, here's my new elevator pitch:
"My clients have great ideas for a self-help book they want to write. They know having a book will bring them more credibility and more business. But they're intimidated by the writing process or they're worried about the quality of their writing. That's why they're so relieved to find me! I'm Linda Dessau, I'm a ghostwriter and editor, and I put my client's great ideas into writing. My website is www dot you talk dash I write. That's www dot you talk dash I write."
I tried it out the other week at Referral Quest and it felt like a winner to me, what do you think? Your comments are always welcome and appreciated!